The planet Earth.
317,000,000 square miles of oceans and continents, forests and fields, cities and villages.
Thousands of cultures, languages, political systems, rivalries, and alliances.

Thousands of years of history.

Could one person living in one place, ever understand more than a tiny fraction of this vast and multi-layered world?

Could anyone judge the entire world based on their own limited perception of it?

Judaism teaches that every individual is a world unto himself. His personality, experiences, history, and perspectives are varied and complex. Could anyone perceive more than a small fraction of who he is?

And yet that is how we judge others. A trait emerges before our eyes and we identify the entire person in that light.

• If he refuses a favor, he is unkind.
• If he shows his temper, he's an angry person.
• If he is momentarily busy, he is egocentric.

Not only is our perception limited, but often it is focused on the negative. We see ourselves as shrewd judges of others' characters.

But when we zero in on their deficiencies, we miss all the good.

Our habit of looking at the negative, pours negativity into ourselves, infecting our relationships with others and the world around us. Yet each person is a world, so much greater than the small glimpses we can see.

• Inside each body there's a soul full of longing for light.
• Inside each heart there are hopes for personal growth, success, love, and acceptance.
• Each hand has its abilities, each mind has its imaginings.

When we focus our eyes on the good and beauty in the people in our lives, we not only build healthier, richer relationships - we also build a life of peace and happiness.

For we are not only seeing the good, we are seeing the truth.

Do you have anyone in your life who can be mean, difficult, or just cold toward you?

We all have difficult people in our lives. How do we deal with these situations, and how can we create a little more shalom between us?

Allow me to share with you a story I once heard…

A young boy and his father once went to a pet store to buy a puppy for the boy’s birthday. The owner showed them 5 little furry puppies in a pen, but the boy noticed that the pen next to it had one that looked just like the others.

So the boy asked the store owner, “Why’s this one all alone?” The owner said, “Well, unfortunately he was born with a deformed leg, and we'll need to put him to sleep.”

The boy said, “You’re going to kill this little puppy??"

The owner said, “Well you have to understand, he'll never be able to run or play with a boy like you.”

The boy paused, and whispered something into his father’s ear. The father turned to the owner, and said. “We would like to buy the one with the bad leg please.”

The owner was shocked. he said, “But for the same price you could have one of the healthy ones, why do you want that one??”

The boy lifted the bottom of his pants and showed the owner a brace. He said, “Mister… I want this one…because I know what he’s going through.”

When you can SEE what someone’s really going through, it can help you understand what’s really driving their behavior.

The Mishnah in Avos says:
Don’t judge your friend until you’ve been in his place.

Your family member, friend, or co-worker who’s giving you a hard time is often going through something that you can’t SEE, and most likely their behavior has nothing to do with you - but rather something they’re personally struggling with.

If you can SEE

• beneath the surface
• beneath the rudeness
• beneath the cold shoulder
• beneath the bad attitude

You'll often discover that there’s a little person who’s scared, anxious or in pain, and going through something difficult - just like you have in the past.

Try to see this, and watch as it helps you become more understanding, more forgiving and create more shalom bein adam l'chavero.

Let me tell you a story.

You and your friend go to a meeting; you’re meeting with a bank manager. You walk in, and you see this guy has the most stunning suit you have ever seen.

As you’re talking to him, you notice that one of the buttons on his sleeve is missing.

You stare and stare, and your friend is starting to get embarrassed. Then you lean over and start inspecting the missing button up close - like a jeweler looks at diamonds.

You tell your friend, "Look at that – there's a gaping hole and the threads are torn. This suit is a disaster!”

You’re probably thinking, "What a crazy story. I would never do that!"

Are you sure?

We have people in our lives that we really don’t like. How did that happen?

Simple. We’re so focused on their flaws, that they grow to be so large, they completely cover up their good points.

A Gadol once said, “No wonder you hate me - if I was what you imagined me to be, I’d also hate myself.”

So here’s some wisdom.
Every person you like has good and bad in them.
Every person you don’t like has good and bad in them.

Its about where you have chosen to focus your vision.

So take the shalom challenge and pick a person whom you don’t like. For one minute, mute all that you dislike about that person.

I know. It will be hard.

Next, find someone who likes or respects this person.
His friend, his spouse, his parents, his students, his Rebbi...
Climb into their mind, and look at the person you don’t like through their eyes.

Be honest.
What do they see?

C’mon, you can do it!

And when you do, maybe you can consider that you have a slightly prejudiced opinion towards this person.

Maybe your laser focus and ruminating about their faults, turned them into a monster that they aren’t.

When you train yourself to do that, you will be a person that brings blessing into your life.

You know why we go crazy when we meet someone who didn’t vote like us? You know what’s the trigger for machlokes – for discord?

This terrible habit many of us have → of NOT REALLY KNOWING HOW AMAZING WE ARE.

We look at our weaknesses & mistakes often … but never take the time to look at our strengths. All the difficulties we overcome. So then, when someone disagrees with us, the part inside us that feels small or insecure starts getting shaky again.

“I guess I’m really not that good. Not that important. Not that smart, or right, if you could disagree with me.”

When we talk about creating peace with how we view people (this week’s Shalom Challenge focus), the first person you need to view accurately is... yourself.

So how do we fix our negative self-images so we don’t get triggered by different?

Do the thing that will force you to respect yourself → respect others.

Western society tells you that if you want to fix your self-image:
• trump your achievements.
• take care of YOU.

Chazal say the EXACT opposite.

Aizehu mechubad? Who is honored?
Hamechabed es habriyos (Avos 4:1). One who honors others.

If you want to get to a space of honoring yourself —which is what Hashem wants you to do— then honor others. Every time you respect someone else, it’s a little reminder:
> people are worth respecting.
> I’m worth respecting.

And suddenly, the fact that he didn’t vote like you… you can shrug it off.

Because you’re comfortable with yourself and your choices. And you don’t need anyone else to validate them.

If you’ve lived for more than a few hours on this planet, you’ve definitely learned that people will disappoint you. It’s frustrating.

But… 

…there’s a magic mind-pill to take to avoid that frustration. 

Listen to this story ⬇⬇⬇

On the way back from Eretz Yisroel, the Levy’s flew through Moscow to New York.  An hour after departure, the pilot began speaking to the passengers in heavily-accented English.

They couldn’t make out too many words except for “small mechanical problem” and “fuel dump” but it did not. sound. good. The plane was dumping fuel to prevent a serious problem, then heading back to Moscow for an emergency landing.

The Levys took out their Tehillim in preparation for the landing.  Baruch Hashem, the plane landed safely back in Moscow, but what followed next was a series of frustrations…

... waiting for another plane
… a mean bus ride around the airport
… the driver unable to find the plane…

Through it all the Levys smiled.

After a 28-hour trip, they finally got back to NY. They got on the shuttle to take them back to their car... and then the shuttle driver couldn’t find their car. Round and round they went aimlessly searching for it. 

They could have lost it. They were justified in losing it. But they didn’t.  

Because as Mrs. Levy said:

“Today, at 30,000 feet, I learnt there’s a big difference between tragedy... and nuisance.” 

What could’ve happened, what almost happened up in the air — that was tragedy. 

Everything else? Just nuisance. 

Often when people disappoint us, we code their behavior as a tragedy. 

 Then we overpay for that thought in anger, suffering, pain.  

 Worse yet, we damage our relationship with an over-the-top reaction. 

All because we coded it as tragedy.

We’re overpaying!

There are some things adults never do.
Or do they?

Boy: "My Mom told me it was sprinkling."
Girl: "It was raining."
Boy: "No, my Mom told me it was sprinkling, not raining."
Girl: "My Mommy said it is raining."
Boy: "No, my Mom told me it was sprinkling!"
Girl: "Because my Mommy said it is raining."
Boy: "So, my Mom told me it was sprinkling!"
Girl: "It's raining!"
Boy: "Ow! It's sprinkling outside."
Girl 2: "It's raining."
Boy: "No it's not!"
Girl: "Yes, it is! It is raining."
Boy: "Ow."
Girl 2: "Are you ok?"
Boy: "You poked my heart."
Girl 2: "Are you ok?"
Boy: "You poked my heart."

So many arguments happen over nothing.
We're so busy making sure our opinion is heard, we don't even realize we're saying the same thing.

Me: “You seriously voted for Biden?!”
You: “YOU’RE a trump supporter?!”

Me: “Why can’t you wear a mask?!?!?!?!?”
You: “Are you really taking that vaccine?? Do you know the risks?”

Me: “Schools should be closed, we’re in a pandemic!!”
You: “Do you understand the spiritual damage of closing yeshivos?!?! It’s worse than the pandemic itself!!”

The world has become so divided. Conflicts are heated to the point that our relationships are literally being torn apart over our differences.

So…
 What's the secret to dealing with people who we think are dead wrong?
 How can we NOT let what divides us totally tear us apart?

Often, when we think someone’s wrong, we tend to get so angry—
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! 
— that we completely dismiss them as a person. We even feel hatred toward them because of the crazy conclusions they’ve come to. 

But…
Have YOU ever come to a wrong conclusion?
Were you ever SURE you were right, and in the end it turned out you were wrong? 

I’m sure you did! We all have! 

And maybe you were a little upset with yourself.
Okay, maybe more than a little.
But I bet you didn’t completely write yourself off, or hate yourself because of it. 

Why not? 

Because you know that you’re human. And that you make mistakes.

So if I can be tolerant of my mistakes, then why can’t I be tolerant of yours?

We all want to live in a world where we’re not completely judged by our mistakes, but if we want to live in that world, then we need to build that world….

The Torah says to love your friend like yourself, but can you REALLY love someone else like yourself? The Bal Shem Tov explains that the same way you love yourself even with your flaws, so too can you love others with theirs.

A chassidish man once told me that all his sons were observant, except one, who  completely veered away from judaism.

I asked him: "How did you respond?"

He said: "Every Shabbos, we set a place for him at the shabbos table, and every shabbos we call and invite him to come home for shabbos. Sometimes he comes home. Why do we do this? Because even though we think he’s making a mistake, he’s still our son. And we love him as a person, even if we disagree with his opinion."

We all have it in us!

So just try...
➔ try to love the person… behind the opinion.
➔ try to love the human being…beneath the human error.
➔ try to love your friend…even with their flaws.

Maybe they’ve made a mistake, but there’s a good person behind that mistake. 

And I know you have it in you to see THAT person.

Some of my very close friends own a company that gets audited regularly by a government oversight agency.

The auditors who arrive at their doorstep are professional mistake finders. So yeah, you can imagine how those meetings go. My friends get a citation for something as small as a piece of paper not being filed correctly.

If we were sitting in those meetings, our eyes would see that the people on the other side of the table are programmed to harm us.
They’re people who literally are zapping our economic well-being.

I tell my friends that if they were meeting with 1,000 auditors…

.... all of them trying with all their combined might to take one single penny away from them…

... 1,000 people couldn’t do it.

Because these are the facts:

 Every single penny you get.
 Every single penny you lose.

It's all destined from Hashem.

Whether it’s an:

• inheritance
• dent in your car
• product you paid good money for that doesn’t work

All the people that you think are taking money from you.

They aren’t.

Hashem is.

Now if those people are doing something wrong, it’s unfortunate that they signed up to be Hashem’s messenger.
But they’re just actors in a play that includes Hashem and you.

This little piece of information → that all loss or gain comes from Hashem, completely changes how we deal with people who hurt us financially.

I’m not suggesting that you don’t protect yourself or try through halachic means to get what’s yours…

But so many times these stories end in machlokes because—  
“What do you mean!?! They harmed me!”

>>> Here’s the real way to look at it:  

1. Nobody can take ANYTHING from me without His permission. Those people causing me financial harm? They’re only (unfortunately) Hashem’s messengers. 
2. I know that Hashem has an amazing reason. 

Then, next time someone causes you a loss, just bring Hashem into the picture. 

  > The bigger you make Hashem
  <   The smaller you make His messengers who harmed you. 

Believe it or not, you can reach a level where the auditors … poof! disappear.

When your spouse or child hurts you deeply, the pain is MUCH more intense.
You’re sore: 

“How could someone I love so much do this to me?” 

This feels like MUCH more than a mistake.
 He’s cruel.
 She’s a manipulator.
 He’s dishonest.
 She’s callous.
… how could you even have married or raised a person like that? 

Waaaaaait. 

Hold on a minute. 

This is the person who loves you. 
Who would never willingly hurt you. 

Instead of believing he suddenly turned evil, get curious. “This doesn’t make any sense. Why would he do this?”

Think about what he did as odd. Strange. Out of character.
❌ Not cruel.
❌ Not dishonest.
❌ Not manipulative.
 
Just… out of character.
 
Once you do that, you open yourself up to understanding why the wonderful person you married or gave birth to didn’t act so wonderfully.

• Maybe you’re misinterpreting what she’s doing? 
• Maybe he’s in pain because of something else going on?
• Maybe she misunderstood YOU — and reacted badly?
• Maybe there’s something you’re doing that’s triggering this behavior? 

It could be it was a mistake, but not that they’re evil. 

Think, talk, get to the bottom of what drove his behavior — you’ll invariably find that there was a reason for what he did. 

Because while demonizing is the natural response, it weakens relationships.

And by getting to the bottom of what’s really causing his behavior, “It’s odd,” are the two words that can strengthen it.

So many fights start with anger. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could know what triggers anger?

🗵 Not just the surface things — he did this, she did that, how COULD they, now I’m angry.
☑ But the deep thing — the real reason we get angry 

I hate to say it…

….but anger comes from our ego saying “I’m not getting what I want”.

 Maybe respect.
 Maybe things I need NOW.

The key word here?
I’m.

>>> As in “I’m really important.”
What does that ⬆⬆⬆ sound like?
> ga'avah: haughtiness/egotism <
 
There is a direct correlation between the level of egotism a person has and the level of machlokes (fights) that they have in their life.

But what really is egotism? 

Here’s something I heard that is so incredibly profound.

Ga’avah (or egotism) is MAKE-BELIEVE SELF-ESTEEM.
And so when my ga’avah (A.K.A my make-believe self esteem) is challenged… I get angry.

 Because I need people to agree with me
 I need people to treat me with respect.

But when we have REAL self respect…

... then we don’t need other people to give us esteem. We don’t even need people to agree with us.

What’s real self esteem?

 It’s knowing that I’m loved by Hashem, the Master of the Universe.
 He created me for a purpose.
 He loves me.
 He values me no matter what I —or anyone— thinks of me.

Self esteem is knowing our value and importance so much, so deeply, that we don’t need anyone else to prove it to us.

Think about the fact that Hashem, who is absolutely and completely  perfect... He (!) created ME!!!

It even says Bishvili nivra ha’olam (Sanhedrin 37:1): He created the entire world just for me to play my role. That means I really play an important part in Hashem’s world. 

Most people don’t really value themselves, some even hold they have very little value.
That’s the yetzer hora talking.
To Hashem each of us has tremendous value (as we just proved).

 He’s perfect.
 And He created me. 

When we really focus on these two points ⬆⬆⬆, we'll finally start appreciating ourselves. Even if we aren't (yet) our ideal selves.

Some people always have their apology in the planning stages,
 

Has anyone ever done or said something to you that was just SO hurtful? Like the type of thing you’re just shocked by?

Maybe it was a spouse, a family member, or your  best friend… and you just think…

⁉️ “How could they!? I'll never forgive them!”
 
At that moment, we’re faced with a critical choice;  do  we confront them? Or do we just  walk away?

Staying quiet is definitely easiest in the moment. 
But is it the best decision long term?
 
I once heard a story about a professor who held up a glass filled with water, and asked his class, “How much do you think this weighs?”
 
One student said 2 ounces, another 6 ounces, another said 2 pounds.
 
The professor looked at the class and said, "You know… you’re all right."
 
They looked at each other, puzzled. “How could we ALL be right??”
 
He looked at them as he held the glass, and said,
"How heavy something feels… just depends… on how long you hold onto it."
 
Sometimes staying quiet and holding onto things is easiest at first, but over time it gets heavier, because it keeps showing up for us,  and the relationship gets harder and harder  to fix.
 
But I want to share an amazing Torah insight on how to heal from pain that someone caused us, whether they meant it or not.
 
The Torah says, “Don’t hate your brother in  your heart." (Kedoshim 19:17)
Instead, confront the person about the issue.
 
Do you know why the Torah has to tell us to confront the person?

Because human nature is to avoid  confrontation!

It’s against our nature to speak up.

But, I have to tell you that even though it’s so much easier to keep it inside,
it’s so much healthier to speak up.
 
And when we bring it up with them, we give them a chance to apologize and to clear the air.
 
But just one tip… When you speak with them,
try to focus on YOUR pain and not THEIR wrongdoing.

Tell them,  “I know you wouldn’t want to hurt me, so can you help me understand what this was about?"
 
Remember, most people don’t want to hurt others, and when they do...
they often don’t even realize the extent of it.
 
Just try it...

✔️ make that phone call,
✔️ end that long standing fight,
✔️ repair hurt feelings!

I know it’s uncomfortable at first, but afterwards you'll feel like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. Like a new person. Like you could finally breathe again!

And just watch as you create more shalom bein adam l’chavero!

Anger is contagious.

One person speaks angrily, the other responds harshly, voices get louder… and louder… and louder. 

Not with this trick —>

It’s a psychological principle called pattern interrupt — when you react in a way opposite to what the person expects, there’s a split second of confusion.

And in that pause, you’ve got his attention.
His mind opens up and suddenly, he’s present.

He can hear you.

So you can de-escalate the situation... just by going down instead of up.
By speaking
lower,
s  l  o  w  e  r,
deeper.

And here’s the kicker: 

Not only does the deeper tone calm the angry person, it calms YOU, too.
It helps you fight the natural stress you feel when facing anger.
So instead of getting in a tizzy, you react in a calm, measured way you won’t regret later.

(True fact: People vote more for presidents with deeper voices. 
Why?
We naturally associate leadership, knowledge, and competence with people who speak low and slow.)

WIFE:Isn’t there anything you want to say to me?
HUSBAND:Umm, No.
WIFE: You can’t even remember our anniversary?! You only care about yourself!
HUSBAND:Oh no. Oh no.  I’ve really messed up.  I’ll never get out of this one!

COACH: What’s the matter? Just say you’re sorry.
HUSBAND: No! I can’t!  She never accepts my apologies.  Even if I send flowers and cook her dinner. 
It’s impossible. 
She just won’t let things go!

COACH: If the other person is still upset even after you say sorry, maybe consider that it’s the WAY you say sorry that needs to change.
HUSBAND: The waayy I say sorry.
HUSBAND: ...Slicha. Je suis desole. Duìbùqǐ.
HUSBAND: It’s hopeless!

COACH:I think we need to break it down. Let’s get serious. 

1. Really mean it.  If you need help sounding sincere, try thinking what the pain you caused must feel like for the other person.
2. Be specific about what you’ve done. This shows the other person that you understand what caused the pain, and that you own it.
3. Take full blame. No excuses.  No offloading even part of the blame on someone else.  

> HUSBAND:But what if it was partly her fault? It takes two to tango.
< COACH: But when the music’s over, you take your own bow. This is your apology. Let hers come when she’s ready.

4.Do something to right the wrong and show that it’s not just lip service.

HUSBAND:Ok, here goes.
"Aliza, I’m really sorry I forgot our anniversary...again. I totally messed up. Tomorrow I’m coming home early and making you dinner."

COACH: When you hurt someone, the part they find so painful is the message it sent: “I don’t care about you.”

When you apologize all the way, you take responsibility for the pain you caused. You own it.
It’s to show that, in fact, you DO care.

And that’s something you don’t have to apologize for.

Somehow the pan with oil stayed on the fire too long and then…

Disaster struck.

“AAAH, FIRE! Quick, I need some liquid to put it out!!” yelled Mrs. Cohen.
Her young son quickly grabbed the first bottle he could find and poured a bottle of lighter fuel on the fire.

Probably not the best way to put out a fire.

Machlokes is fire. 

You take a relationship, let it burn under the fire of machlokes for a while... and watch as a perfectly good relationship is incinerated.

 But what’s the fuel of machlokes?
 What makes it burn longer, harder?

Loshon hora.

Loshon hora is gasoline that turns small flames of discontent into a roaring wildfire that can lay waste to careers and friendships.

 As one person in a machlokes spreads loshon hora against another, it becomes public knowledge. 
 Then, the negative feelings that had been quietly stored in a person heart...  grow into facts that friends and family will rally around, take sides, and become entrenched in positions that grow hatred. 

A small mistake or comment blows up into uncontrollable war… only because it was fanned to life by words.

But imagine if you decide:
 “I will not speak about this machlokes. No matter what.”

Ever put out a candle by covering it with a glass? With no oxygen, the flame flickers... wavers... dies.
  
It sounds far-fetched but this is the truth:
If you extinguish the loshon hora that fuels the machlokes, the machlokes will soon die.

Tonight is Purim. We know that the great salvation of Purim came because of the achdus, the unity of Klal Yisrael at that time. 

By joining the Shalom Challenge - you too have chosen to focus on achdus now. May our efforts at unity bring us the greatest yeshuah of all, the coming of the Geulah.

"Are you listening??"
"Of course I’m listening!"
"But I don’t feel like you're listening!"

Sound familiar??

Sometimes arguments escalate because we’re not  listening to understand; we’re  listening to reply.

We’re thinking…
What will I say back? How can I disprove what they’re saying?

But only when we’re listening to understand can we begin to REALLY hear what they’re saying.

I once heard about a story of a grandfather whose grandkids came to visit and when they arrived, they looked at his face and saw he was a little sad.

They asked, “Zaide, what’s wrong?”
He said, "I have been looking all over and I can’t seem to find the precious watch that your Bubbie gave me.”
They said, “Don’t worry Zaide, we’re gonna help you find it. Where’d you see it last?”
He said, “The garage."

All the grandkids ran into the garage and frantically searched but no one found it. They came back into the house and saw Zaide was still sad. One of the grandkids said, “Wait, I have an idea.”

He goes out to the garage and 10 minutes later comes back with the watch. Everyone was shocked!

"How’d you find it??"

He said, "I went back into the garage and just sat down in the middle quietly, in total silence… without moving, without making a sound, and listened as carefully as I could… until I could hear tick tick tick…”

When we listen with the intent to REALLY hear, that's when we find what we are really looking for, and that's when we begin to really understand the other person.

The most famous word in  all of Judaism, is “Shema”.

When we say shema, we don’t JUST mean "SHEMA" - to physically HEAR that Hashem is One, but rather TO LISTEN, to understand, and really internalize it. 

So how can we learn to really listen?
Here’s an acronym that i find really helps:
H ➔ HOLD still: Focus your mind on THEIR WORDS.
E ➔ make EYE CONTACT: look them directly in their eyes. 
A ➔ ACTIVELY LISTEN: SHOW them you’re listening by nodding, using verbal messaging, "hmmm", "right"…
R ➔ REPEAT: repeat back what THEY’RE saying, in YOUR words

The words LISTEN and SILENT, have the same letters, but real listening is more than just staying SILENT.

The real secret to listening lies in what you’re doing IN that silence.

As we come to the close of the Shalom Challenge this week, I believe we all get how important and vital shalom is.

But there’s still a gigantic challenge for those of us who have been hurt by someone in the deepest way.

• How can we forgive them? 
• How can we make shalom?

They caused us so much pain. Sometimes, irreparable harm.
 
“So, yeah, Shalom is fantastic and I heard many stories of people who forgave and felt like they were released from a prison of hurt and anxiety. But at the end of the day, I can’t forgive them.”
 
Believe me, I get it.
It’s just impossible.
 
Or is it?

Important note: Obviously, there are some cases that need an extra level of advice on whether and how to reconnect.

There are two intensely powerful reasons to forgive (besides that you’ll be the beneficiary of incredible Menuchas Hanefesh — tranquility).
 
Reason #1:
The Torah says:

1. Kol Hama'avir al Midosov — someone who forgives someone who wronged him
2. Ma'avirin lo al kol p’sha'av — in Heaven they forgive him for his sins.

Forgiveness for sins equals a radiant Olam Habah that lasts forever.

> I do something painful. Very painful. Like forgiving someone who really hurt me.

< Then that forgiveness wipes away my sins that I did (and would otherwise have had to deal with their negative consequences forever.)

That sounds like an amazing deal to me.
 
Reason #2: 
And here’s a second reason. When I forgive someone, I can do it as a z’chus for a loved one.

For them to have a child, a shidduch or a refuah.
 
There were two sisters who were very close and unfortunately, they got into a big machlokes. 

One of the sisters in particular was very impacted by it and one day she was driving her car and was so upset thinking about the rift between her and her sister that she pulled over to the side of the road and broke down crying. 
 
Then she said to Hashem: “You know how difficult it is for me to be the one to say I’m sorry. But I’d do it if it would just be a z’chus for my son who doesn’t have children to merit having a child.”
 
And with that she picked up her phone and made up with her sister.
 
A little over a month later her son called her and said “Ma, are you alone? I have to tell you something...” and she was stunned to hear that his wife was expecting.
 
A few  hours later, her second son called her — on the very same day — and said, “Ma, are you alone? I have something to tell you.”
 
You’re participating in the Shalom Challenge, and YOU KNOW: 
“Shalom is the vessel that holds brocha.” 
 
If you want brocha in your life, put shalom in your life.

They say money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you shalom.

So many relationships fracture over money.

But if we fight about money, while we think we're taking care of ourselves – nothing could be further from the truth. We're actually punishing ourselves by losing important relationships and peace of mind.

Open up a shalom account.

"Huh? What's that?"

Money that you put aside that you will happily give up for the mitzvah of shalom.

➜ A friend is upset that you kept her daughter late for babysitting?
Pay her extra (from your Shalom Account) to show you’re sorry.

➜ A neighbor’s kid colored on your front steps?
Tap into your Shalom Account funds and pay someone to remove it. So you don’t get upset all over again every time you step outside.

➜ The mechutanim demand a totally unnecessary upgrade, and want you to pay half towards it?
Consider it your contribution to your child’s future, and make a Shalom account withdrawal.

And every time you’re upset with someone (or they’re upset with you) over money...

...take cash from your shalom account and use it to buy...

Family.
Peace. Forgiveness. Relationships. Quality of life.

Open a shalom account.

You’re investing not just for tomorrow.

You’re investing... for today.

2:34 PM
Subject: Change of plans 
 
Mommy <bubbyrox123@gmail.com>
to friedman, Miri, Est603, Sheva ,the, malkie, Tova▾ 
 
Last minute change — no kids under 14 are invited to our sheva brachos tonight.

Also reminder:
We’re washing at 7:15 sharp -  the mechutanim asked us to try to end early because their neighbors are making a chasuna tonight and they want to stop in there to say mazel tov when we’re done. 
 
If your dish needs to be warmed up, please have it here by 6.
 
Can’t wait to see you all!
 

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 Five reactions. ↓  ↓  ↓
Which one is yours?

2:35 PM
 ▾ Mommy <bubbyrox123@gmail.com>
 
WHAT?!?!? SHOSHI’S BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULD’VE BROUGHT HER TO THE WEDDING IF I WOULD’VE KNOWN. 
 
AND HOW AM I FINDING A BABYSITTER WHEN ALL THE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS ARE BUSY WITH PRODUCTION??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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2:47 PM
(responds via text)

 Um, does this mean no babies? Even if they’re nursing?

 Could I bring Akiva? He’s turning 14 in 2 months.

 Heads up that I’m bringing Suri. She could really use the boost. And she’s so tall, she could pass for 16. 

 Oh, just realized Akiva can’t come.. I’m going to use his seat for Shifra. And she’ll hold the baby.

 Oops! No one left at home to babysit. Guess I’ll just bring Moshe and Leah along and they’ll stay in the playroom. Can you check if the DVD player is still working?
 

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2:48 PM

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You may remember a couple of summers ago, when Klal Yisroel united in such a majestic fashion.

We heard about Eliana, a girl not yet 2 years old. She needed a life-saving shot that would cost approximately 2.2 million dollars, and the shot had to be given to her before her 2nd birthday. It seemed like the only chance to save her life.

I remember the Thursday afternoon when my wife walked into my office to tell me there was a campaign that was started to raise the money.

Generally, I try to be very upbeat and optimistic.

But, I remember on this occasion turning to my wife and saying, "It doesn't seem possible! How, in just 3 short days, can Klal Yisroel raise 2.2 million dollars? What's going to be with Eliana? "

I didn't realize at the time, but one of our sons - an 8 year old, was standing in the corner of the office, and he heard what I said. And he started to cry ran out of the room.

I turned to my wife and I said, "Perhaps I spoke negatively, and perhaps I expressed that maybe, Eliana won't live - maybe that's what frightened our 8 year old.

A moment later, he came back into the office. Tears were in his eyes, and from behind his back he took out two $20 bills - $40.

And he turned to me and he said, "Here's $40 that I got for presents recently. Take the it and  go save Eliana's life."

And that's when I realized, yes! Klal Yisroel shows up.

We are all brothers.

Approximately 20 thousand people united amongst Klal Yisroel to raise the money. The money was raised even before the deadline, and they had to stop accepting contributions.

That's the power of our feelings of being brothers.
That's the power of uniting.

Yes, we have different divisions. We have differences in Klal Yisroel.

It's well known, somebody once asked the Chofetz Chaim, "Why are there so many types of Jews? There are Chassidim, there are Misnagdim, Ashkenazim, Sefardim... Why?

And of course you know, the Chofetz Chaim, zy"a, answered, "You may as well ask why does the Czar need so many different divisions in his military?

He has the army,
He has the Navy,
He has the Cavalry,
He has the Infantry.

Why all the different divisions?

He needs the different forces to properly wage war, because he is fighting his nation's enemies. And although each one has a different task, it's precisely because they have a different task but are fighting for the same cause -

that's why each one is so critical and so necessary!"

How we have to remember these words of the Chofetz Chaim, zy"a, to unite, to show up with our brotherly feelings at all times.

Yes, sometimes there are differences.
However, we have to remember, we're all on the same side.
We all have the same mission.

Everyone has to realize that we can live together in shalom and serve the Ribono Shel Olam as one man with one heart.

We should indeed be zoche to remember that although there are differences, everyone is such an integral chelek of the brotherhood of Klal Yisroel.

And may we continue to unite la'asos retzon avinu she'bashamayim.