Do you find some people impossible to understand?

Introducing 4 types behind the wheel, starring:

👦 Dominant   👨‍🦰 Influencer  🧔 Steady  👨 Conscientious

American Business created a personality test called DISC that over 40 million people have taken to understand the 4 most common personality types, their motivations and their limitations.

 

Like the Dominant type

🚗🚗🚗“If that guy drives any slower, he’d be going backwards!”

The dominant personality type takes action.

Even when they’re in the passenger seat, they need to direct.

You might see them as bossy, but in their minds,

they can’t help but try to help.

 

The Influence personality type uses their people skills to succeed. 

But they need people.

“ Ever since we started working from home, I can’t get anything done.

Where are the people?”

 

The Influence personality needs people around to get anything done.

They’re inspiring and spontaneous…

but also impulsive and easily distracted.

 

Steady people want everyone to be happy,

and things to run smoothly

🎵“You don’t like the music Moishy?

I prepared yours separately”🎵

“Sure you can come with us to Montreal.

We can fit another guy in here, right?”

That’s the Steady personality type and is over accommodating.

 

And then there’s the Conscientious person

“I don’t get it, everyone went to Driver’s Ed, everyone knows the rules.

Why am I the only one following them?”

“That is not 3 feet away from the curb” 📏

Conscientious follow the rules. 

You may want to grit your teeth, but they’re going to do what’s right, come what may.

Conscientious people may look perfect, but they are terribly afraid of criticism.

When you realize that people’s minds are wired differently,

you can handle their quirks

and avoid stepping on their toes

 

You can finally understand what drives them, and why they’re acting the way they do.

I want to share with you one of my all-time top 5 quotes of my entire life.

Ready? 

 

🦺🚧🏗️Expectation is resentment under construction🏗️🚧🦺

 

Do you love it? 

I knew you would.

It's so crazy true. 

 

We all have expectations- 

of the people around us, 

of what our lives are supposed to be 

and those expectations are resentment under construction.

 

The more expectations you have 

the unhappier you will be

the harder it will be to get along with people and be b’sholom.

 

But you’re probably thinking:

🤔 what is he talking about?

I  expect people to treat me with respect

I expect people to do reasonable requests I ask of them.  

Why shouldn’t I be angry when they don’t?!

 

It’s true.  

 

You “should” be treated that way. 

But the key word in the sentence is “should”.

 

In reality many times we don’t get what we “should” get, often life doesn’t match our expectations. 

 

 But one thing is definite.

 

What we do get from our expectations often is resentment. 

 

 So here’s a different way to look at the people in our lives and what they “should” do:

 

When people do what they “should” do it makes me happy. 😁

Being happy is my ultimate goal.  

So lets keep our eye on the happiness in this situation. 

 

If I change “should” to “could” as in: it would be nice if someone could help with the Sheva Brachos - 

not that they must, but if it works out,  it will be good -

then when for whatever reason, they don’t do it:

🏃 they’re too busy

😰 they have something going on in their life that you don’t know about

😠 or they’re plain old selfish and have bad middos like the rest of us

my expectations didn’t set me up to be unhappy.

My lack of expectation set me up to be unfazed and stay happy.  

 

Rule #4 of the shalom challenge

is to drop expectations of the people in your life

and you will live a lot more b'shalom

and that will bring you the happiness that you were looking for all along.

Which one is right?

There is always someone else seeing what you saw

in a different way.

Different.

Not wrong.

How can we better appreciate the differences in others?  

1. By acknowledging the similarities: 

⛓️ where we overlap, 

🤝 what we have in common,

💭 what we do share - the values, attitudes, ideals, and beliefs 

 

2. By knowing more about this person:

 👓 their experiences

❤️‍🔥 what they've gone through

🛣️ where they've come from

 

As we learn more about that person and the life they've lived (or whatever's led them to this point), we might just find that 

 

if we went through their same experiences,

we’d look at the world exactly the same way that they do.

 

Now, I know, it's scary to look at somebody and simply observe 🔭without putting them into a category. 🗃

 

I mean, how often do you meet somebody and in 2 seconds think that you just know their entire life story, their whole narrative? 

👶→👦→🧔→👴

 

The reason we do it is because the yetzer hara tells us that by putting this person into a category we’ll feel better.

↓↓↓

 

📦 putting them into a box  >  makes me feel more secure 🔒

 

If I know who you are - if I know your story, where you've come from -

then I can feel more secure about me, my attitudes, my beliefs.

 

It allows for me to feel less vulnerable. 🥺

 

But the truth is, the more we're able to observe somebody 

❌😠 without condemnation, 

❌🧑‍⚖️ without judging, 

✅🗣️ simply just to observe,interact, talk to that person, and learn from that person 

the more secure we become.

 

The reality is: 

the more I'm able to speak with you 💁‍♂️🧏‍♂️➡ 

and understand where you're coming from 🕵️‍♂️➡ 

with an open mind (without judging or condemning)👨‍⚖️🔨❌

 the more secure I'm going to be.💪

 

🤔Very often we confuse acceptance with approval. 

Acceptance is unconditional. I accept you as I accept myself. 

👈 It doesn't mean I'm perfect. 

👉 It doesn't mean that you're perfect. 

 

We don't approve of everything that we do, or other people do. 🤷‍♀️

But that doesn't mean that we can't accept them unconditionally 🤗

simply for who they are and for their own experiences. 👨‍🚀🦸‍♂️

 

We can respect where they're coming from and appreciate those differences. 

At the end of the day we're all different. 🦄

And we all have a unique way of looking at the world, and we all have our own unique experiences. 👓

 

So the next time you’re speaking with somebody, do your best simply to enjoy the conversation and to interact with the person 

❌😠 without condemnation, 

❌🧑‍⚖️ without judging, 

❌🙄 without already knowing who they are

 

You might just find the interaction richer, and your life to be happier and healthier as well.

Sometimes if someone insults us, 

we use very harsh words to describe their insult: 

"They put a knife in my heart"🗡️💔

 

But. 

A word is a puff of air with a feeble sound wave attached.  

🗡️💔"a knife in my heart”??? I don't think so! 

 

And yet it DOES feel like a knife sometimes.

The question is: how does a puff of air turn into a knife?  

 

The answer? It’s us who turn their insulting words into a knife.

 

Little is as precious to us as our sense of our own value.

And for most of us, our sense of value comes from …. others.

 

↓ ↓ ↓

 

🤔If they ask our advice, we feel smart. 🤓 

🙋‍♀️ If they seek our company, we feel likeable. 🥰 

😡f they criticize us, we feel demeaned.🥺

🙅‍♂️ If they reject us, we worry that perhaps we're unlikable.😢 

 

Insulting words turn into knives because 

we allow those words to strike at our essence and to define us.  

 

Imagine if one day an ant crawls across your car windshield 🐜

As he passes you - he turns his head and says "loser". 

 

 

After you get over the shock of a talking ant, you would not take it personally.  

We would not let an ant define who we are.

 

Many feuds that end a perfectly good relationship are triggered by 

one. single. insult.

 

An insult that says more about the person who said it than the person it is said about.

 

• Either the insulter is frustrated, 😠

• or thoughtless, 😮‍💨

• or never learned the destructive power of their words.  🧨💬💥

 

And all of this is his responsibility to fix.

 

But for us, if we want to live B'shalom, we need to stop the insult as it travels towards us. 

 

 

We need to tell ourselves that we will not be defined by another person's communication or insensitivity challenge.

 

Because here’s the thing (and it’s magical):

 

If we don't breathe life into words of insult, they can slide by us as the 

puffs💨 of 💨air they really are. 

 

We can remember the lesson of the ant and choose a new direction: 

we can stop letting others define us, and define ourselves.

Sometimes, one seemingly inconsequential occurrence can have tremendous consequences.

This isn’t just a theory, it is a fact, scientifically substantiated by meteorologist Edward Lorenz in 1962.

In order to re-test weather predictions,

Edward would enter the initial weather data into the computer, and then check the results. ⛅🌻

At first, Edward assumed that leaving out one small decimal point from the initial number

wouldn’t make a difference when calculating the weather.

After all, Edward speculated, that fraction of a decimal

probably just represented some small and meaningless change in the air currents, like the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings.

🦋 🦋 🦋 🦋

What possible influence could that have on the weather?

However, it turned out that if the data he put in to the computer was even negligibly different from the original,

it produced an entirely different weather prediction.🌪

His unexpected calculations showed that those tiny movements he’d thought were insignificant actually had an incredible impact.

In other words, 🦋 a little flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil had the power to create a tornado 🌪 in Texas.

And thus, the phenomenon known as The Butterfly Effect was born.

In the case of the​ Butterfly Effect, the butterfly is blameless​.

The destruction ​that results from her flapping her wings isn’t within her control​.

But there is another ​type of​ butterfly effect, ​one ​over which we have total control. 

Let’​​s call ​this one​ the Human Butterfly Effect.

It begins with something we say

🤝 to a friend or stranger,

👩‍🏫 to an employer or teacher,

🧒 to a spouse or child.

And like the flap of the butterfly’​​s wings, that one little comment can have dramatic, unintended consequences.

A negative comment ripples through the atmosphere of our lives far beyond our reach. 

Because negativity spreads.

It travels.

It gathers speed, spinning faster 🗩 and faster​ 🗪,

until it becomes a tornado 🗫 that leaves a wake of destruction in its path -

​turning people into victims

🌪 ending marriages

🌪 ruining businesses

🌪 harming careers

🌪 destroying ​friendships

leaving a path of destruction in our lives and the lives of others.

And worst of all, delaying the Geulah which we all desperately need.

There is ​nothing m​ore powerful than ​speech.

But just like the Human Butterfly Effect ​can unleash a tornado of harm, it also has the power to generate a world of good.

A kind word can

⛅ ​heal a marriage

⛅ rebuild someone’​​s business

⛅ ​repair a friendship

⛅ repairing the world and ourselves.

And best of all it can, no it WILL, bring the Geulah.

And to think that we’ve known this for thousands of years ​

…long before​ Edward Lorenz discovered​ the Butterfly Effect.

מָ֣וֶת וְ֭חַיִּים בְּיַד־לָשׁ֑וֹן

Death and life are in the hands of the tongue.

(Mishlei 18:213)

We are all butterflies.

​The effect our wings have​, though, is up to us.

What ripples will you create today?

On Sunday, January 8, 2022, one of the

deadliest fires in New York City history occurred. 

 

17 people in the Bronx neighborhood lost their lives!

I was listening to the terrible news on the radio and heard one thing that seemed out of place.

Usually, I’d assume that people get trapped in fires, because of a door that won’t open 

as in the infamous Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in New York City in 1911, where 146 people died.

But, in this case, the newscast was saying that

the reason the 17 people died was because

a door that should have been closed was left open!

 

That caused black dense smoke to flow into the stairwell from the fire. 

All 17 people r’’l died of smoke inhalation!

 

There is such a valuable lesson that we could learn from this story.

 

Often in life, we get upset at someone

and complain about it.

 

If we keep the fire behind the closed doors of our lips

>> 🚪🔥 🚪 <<

the negativity has a shot at dissipating.

 

 Just like the Bronx fire, if the door would have been closed the fire would have been contained.

 

 But, as soon as we tell others, our words breathe oxygen into the fire.

Machlokes spreads. And spreads.

 

… people start talking about it……taking sides…

… sharing opinions... 

… and then the fire is out of control! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

 

The first lesson to learn when someone complains to you is

 don’t tell anyone, not even your spouse.

The machlokos will die down 

if it doesn’t have your loshon hora oxygen to fuel the flames.

 

But, also I want to share an amazing halacha insight. 

 

The Chofetz Chaim says that the Torah recognizes that a pained heart needs a person to speak to.

The Torah doesn’t tell you just to keep everything inside.

The Torah says if you're in emotional pain you can speak it over with a spouse or parent or friend. 

 

^^ Obviously within the halachic parameters, but you can do it.

 

But, who is your confidant?

 

If your confidant is a real friend, they will 

👂 listen empathetically, 

💞 validate your feelings 

💦 and calm you down. 

 

After a while, when the story is less fresh and painful, your friend can even help you see the other person’s side.

Obviously, this doesn’t mean the confidant has to tell you it’s your fault and you’re wrong. 

 

But if you can at least understand the other person’s position, it will take you less time to feel better. 

 

→ Once you understand what motivated the other person,

← that brings menuchas hanefesh - which is the greatest gift.

How can you help somebody to see things differently?

 

Nobody can take off their own glasses, or much less see through your lens, enough to feel that you know where they're coming from, and understand that they're in pain.

 

^ That requires empathy 💞 and validation ✅. 

 

It's the key to connection.

 

What’s empathy?

🤕 Your pain is my pain.

🤕 I'm in pain because you're in pain. 

 

When it comes to empathy, you want to make sure that you don't interrupt. That means you’re nonverbal, but what you express still has to match how they're feeling.

 

 If they're in pain, you have to have their pain etched on your face.

😢 = 😢

😬 = 😬

😞 = 😞

 

When they see that you get where they're coming from, you've paved the way for step 2 — validation. 

 

Validation has nothing to do with right and wrong.

Validation has nothing to do with the facts. 

 

All validation means is that you tell the person, I understand.

 

You literally say the words: 

😢“I can see why this is causing you such pain.” 

😖“I can see why you so bothered by this.” 

😠 “It makes sense that you’re so frustrated.” 

That is so therapeutic!

Instantly, when they know that you've got that connection,

they're going to authentically drop their guard.🛡️

 

💭 Think about it 💭

 

If you walked through their life and had their experiences, you might very well draw the same conclusion as they do.

When they know that you get where they're coming from, you validate their experience. 

⬇⬇⬇

 

Suddenly, you’re both on the same side — and

you have an entirely different conversation.

 

Shlomo Hamelech says that a problem shared is a problem halved.

It is so cathartic for this person to be able to express how they feel in an open unchallenged way. 

 

>> Once you do that, you've got that connection. <<

 

There's an old saying that people don't care what you know till they know that you care. 

Once they know that you care, they know that you understand their pain and you validated it, now they drop their guard. 

 

And now is the opportunity for you to introduce 

🙃another perspective

 👓the opportunity for them to see things differently.

 

But you can't move into solution mode until they understand that you know where they're coming from.

 ⬇⬇⬇

 

So regardless of the situation, if you see a person 

😠 when they’re frustrated 

😡when they're angry

😖when they’re bothered, 

do your best, not to hit them head on. ❌🔨🤕

 

Instead:

💞Empathize where they're coming from

✅validate their experience

 and then you can help move them into solution mode.  😖➡👂💞✅➡💡😁

Everyone was silent as Yanky, the Bar Mitzvah bocher

approached the Shtender. 

 Yanky was the final speaker of the evening.  

 

Both Yanky’s parents’ families were Chashuva mishpachos with
long lines of yichus trailing behind them. 

 

 ➡➡➡➡➡➡➡

 ➡➡➡➡➡➡➡

 

Both the grandfathers had already spoken at the Bar Mitzvah.

 

All that remained was for Yanky to speak, and then there would be dancing.

 

Yanky was nervous as he approached the Shtender.

 

 He held tight to the crumpled sheets of notebook paper, his pshetel, which he had buried deep into his new (and only) suit pants. 

 

He would deliver the pshetel in Yiddish.

 

He had pre-arranged with his classmates to interrupt him during the speech so he wouldn’t be embarrassed. As soon as he started, on cue his friends began to sing. 

 

Immediately his grandfather stood up and thundered, 

“Do not interrupt.”

 

The boys were silent — 

and Yanky continued in his sing-song voice

. 

Finally, he finished. 

 

All that was left was for Yanky to say the requisite “thank-yous.” 

 

Yanky switched to English and thanked his parents and grandparents, his rebbeim, and his menahel. 

 

And then, to everyone’s amazement, Yanky, instead of returning to his seat, continued to speak.

 

“Dear Totty, Mommy, Zaide, Bubbe, Zaidy, and Bubby. 

 

You have all asked me what I wanted for my Bar Mitzvah, and I have always answered, “I’m good.” 

 

However, I changed my mind today, and I now know what I want. 

The thing I want most at my Bar Mitzvah is to dance together with my two zaydes and my father, and all my uncles on both sides of the family in one big circle. That is the only thing I want. 

 

I want to feel like every other boy in my class on his Bar Mitzvah.” 

 

The Simcha-hall fell silent. 

 

There it was.

 

The elephant in the room.

 

The terrible rift in the family caused by his parent’s bitter divorce four years ago 

was now on display for all to see.

 

The uncomfortable reality of the two sides of the family sitting separately, 

garishly ignoring each other,

was now exposed for all to view. 

 

The plan for each side to form two distinct circles

under the guise of “Covid restrictions” 

was now revealed for what it was…

 

a thinly-veiled attempt by each side to
avoid having to have contact with “them.” 

 

The room was eerily quiet. 

No one moved, and no one spoke.

 Everyone froze in their seats. 

 

Suddenly, shy, quiet, introverted Yanky looked

 at the bochur at the keyboard 

 and faintly said, “Please play.”  

 

The keyboarder began a leibidig tune; the adults sat shell-shocked. 

 

 

And then bashful, self-effacing Yanky walked over to his Zaidy 

stretched out his hand 

and gently pulled him to the dance floor. 

 

He then moved to the other side of the room, 

took his mother’s father, 

and led him to his Mechutan. 

 

Each grandfather looked at the other one. 

The disdain they felt for each other was visible and palpable. 

They each felt they had been wronged by the other. 

Each one knew they had Daas Torah on their side. 

Their only thoughts were of settling the score.

 

But then it happened. 

Yanky pulled both grandfathers around in a circle.

 

At first, begrudgingly, they acquiesced under coercion to semi-shuffle/dance. 

 

Yet, when they saw the smile on Yanky’s face, 

a smile which had disappeared for over four years, 

the animosity and hostility they had held on to for too long suddenly melted away. 

 

⬇⬇⬇

 

As Yanky’s face radiated happiness, they finally awoke to the reality that all of 

their Dinei Torah,

their posturing, 

their getting letters from various Rabbonim, 

their claims of doing Daas Torah, 

their (absurd) assertions that they were only acting for the Kavod of Hashem, 

had accomplished just one thing: 

 

it had destroyed the life of a thirteen-year-old boy named Yanky. 

 

The true victim of their fighting L’Shem Shomayim was their grandson, 

who now, for the first time in four years,

was smiling.  

 

Miraculously and amazingly, Yanky’s father and all his uncles on both sides joined into one large circle. Yanky’s face beamed with joy. 

 

 ** His radiant countenance blazed as the entire room was aglow from the light of Yanky’s smile.**

 

Tears flowed freely from the eyes of the women who clustered near the Mechitza to watch this miracle in progress. 

 

The music was loud,

the pounding of the men’s feet on the dance floor 

was almost deafening.

 

Yet, if one listened carefully, 

above the din of the dancing, 

you could hear the footsteps of Mashiach coming closer.

The Bigger Picture 

A look at real life, beyond the camera

     Social Media tells one story

and leaves out another  

It's just a tiny glimpse

into someone's reality.

It captures moments 

but leaves out the thoughts , feellings , and circumstances.

The bigger picture isn't always what it seems to be.

13 things that we should say more often

 I’m glad to see you!
Then they’ll be glad to see you
and you’ll be glad to see them
and everybody will just feel good.

 

Here’s a gummy worm, just because I like you.
More gummies = more happy people!
Well, most of the time. Unless your friend is one of those people who doesn't like gummy worms.
They exist. I think. 

 

Please

Of course we can share.
Unless it’s gummy worms. Then no sharing.
Just kidding!

 

My team is not always the best team.
It takes a big man to say that.

 

Wow, you’re a good _______. Friend, sister, brother, teacher.
But not all to the same person. That wouldn’t make sense.

 

I’m sorry.
Not the easiest thing to say,
but it works better than duct tape.
Ummmmm, let's not talk about how I know.

 

 

I forgive you.

Can you teach me how to do that?
We can all learn from each other. When we’re brave enough to ask.

 

Baruch Hashem    Try to mean it!

 

Thank you
(to everybody like the taxi driver, the checkout man…)
because it’s nice and people like it. 

 

Something nice.
Anything.
If you can’t think of anything nice to say, you’re not thinking hard enough.

 

 Nothing.
Sometimes that’s the best thing you can say. 

 

So what about you?
What do you think people should say more often?

I, Yankel the son of Mattisyahu of sound mind and body hereby write my last will and testament.

 

To my darling daughter Devorah 

who is the apple of my eye 

who gave me so much nachas.

 

I leave you my strong sense of

knowing you're right and sticking to your guns. 

This middah kept me strong against my evil brother Shlome and his conniving wife Minny who tried to steal Pappa's business from underneath my nose.  

Baruch Hashem, I battled them successfully in court 

and never spoke to either of them again for the rest of my life.

 

To my dear Dovid'l 

Ah, how you learned as a Bochurel…

Sitting late at night practicing your Mishnayos over and over. 

I think you knew almost the entire Seder Moed by heart before your Bar Mitzvah.

Oh how Papa's eyes would have lit up seeing you.

To you I leave my middah of not being fooled by fakers.

Ach, how I showed you what a faker your Rebbe was - 

He thought he knew the Gemara - he was such a Nar!

 

Ah, to my Shaindele - the smart one! 

Always knowing exactly what to say to who…

Where do you think you got your stinging wit from that can cut a person in 2, 

if not from our Shabbos table, 

where I taught my children who was good and who was bad 

and how to say it like it is 

 

And to my youngest son Yissacher, who has given Ma and me so much Agmas Nefesh.  To you I leave absolutely nothing

To have cut Mama and me out of your life and not to speak to us anymore 

was an avlah as big as Poland,

but then to tell me that I shouldn't care 

because I myself stopped speaking to Papa for the last 5 years of his life!

That was Chutzpah that went directly to my heart.

 

As for Mama and I, we only have one request, 

as Kavod Achron to us, 

please make sure you get along with each other,

care about each other 

 and always live B'Shalom!

FIFTEEN HERE

As we come to the close of the Shalom Challenge this week, I believe we all get how important and vital shalom is.

But there’s still a gigantic challenge for those of us who have been hurt by someone in the deepest way.

• How can we forgive them? 
• How can we make shalom?

They caused us so much pain. Sometimes, irreparable harm.
 
“So, yeah, Shalom is fantastic and I heard many stories of people who forgave and felt like they were released from a prison of hurt and anxiety. But at the end of the day, I can’t forgive them.”
 
Believe me, I get it.
It’s just impossible.
 
Or is it?

Important note: Obviously, there are some cases that need an extra level of advice on whether and how to reconnect.

There are two intensely powerful reasons to forgive (besides that you’ll be the beneficiary of incredible Menuchas Hanefesh — tranquility).
 
Reason #1:
The Torah says:

1. Kol Hama'avir al Midosov — someone who forgives someone who wronged him
2. Ma'avirin lo al kol p’sha'av — in Heaven they forgive him for his sins.

Forgiveness for sins equals a radiant Olam Habah that lasts forever.

> I do something painful. Very painful. Like forgiving someone who really hurt me.

< Then that forgiveness wipes away my sins that I did (and would otherwise have had to deal with their negative consequences forever.)

That sounds like an amazing deal to me.
 
Reason #2: 
And here’s a second reason. When I forgive someone, I can do it as a z’chus for a loved one.

For them to have a child, a shidduch or a refuah.
 
There were two sisters who were very close and unfortunately, they got into a big machlokes. 

One of the sisters in particular was very impacted by it and one day she was driving her car and was so upset thinking about the rift between her and her sister that she pulled over to the side of the road and broke down crying. 
 
Then she said to Hashem: “You know how difficult it is for me to be the one to say I’m sorry. But I’d do it if it would just be a z’chus for my son who doesn’t have children to merit having a child.”
 
And with that she picked up her phone and made up with her sister.
 
A little over a month later her son called her and said “Ma, are you alone? I have to tell you something...” and she was stunned to hear that his wife was expecting.
 
A few  hours later, her second son called her — on the very same day — and said, “Ma, are you alone? I have something to tell you.”
 
You’re participating in the Shalom Challenge, and YOU KNOW: 
“Shalom is the vessel that holds brocha.” 
 
If you want brocha in your life, put shalom in your life.

They say money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you shalom.

So many relationships fracture over money.

But if we fight about money, while we think we're taking care of ourselves – nothing could be further from the truth. We're actually punishing ourselves by losing important relationships and peace of mind.

Open up a shalom account.

"Huh? What's that?"

Money that you put aside that you will happily give up for the mitzvah of shalom.

➜ A friend is upset that you kept her daughter late for babysitting?
Pay her extra (from your Shalom Account) to show you’re sorry.

➜ A neighbor’s kid colored on your front steps?
Tap into your Shalom Account funds and pay someone to remove it. So you don’t get upset all over again every time you step outside.

➜ The mechutanim demand a totally unnecessary upgrade, and want you to pay half towards it?
Consider it your contribution to your child’s future, and make a Shalom account withdrawal.

And every time you’re upset with someone (or they’re upset with you) over money...

...take cash from your shalom account and use it to buy...

Family.
Peace. Forgiveness. Relationships. Quality of life.

Open a shalom account.

You’re investing not just for tomorrow.

You’re investing... for today.

2:34 PM
Subject: Change of plans 
 
Mommy <bubbyrox123@gmail.com>
to friedman, Miri, Est603, Sheva ,the, malkie, Tova▾ 
 
Last minute change — no kids under 14 are invited to our sheva brachos tonight.

Also reminder:
We’re washing at 7:15 sharp -  the mechutanim asked us to try to end early because their neighbors are making a chasuna tonight and they want to stop in there to say mazel tov when we’re done. 
 
If your dish needs to be warmed up, please have it here by 6.
 
Can’t wait to see you all!
 

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 Five reactions. ↓  ↓  ↓
Which one is yours?

2:35 PM
 ▾ Mommy <bubbyrox123@gmail.com>
 
WHAT?!?!? SHOSHI’S BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULD’VE BROUGHT HER TO THE WEDDING IF I WOULD’VE KNOWN. 
 
AND HOW AM I FINDING A BABYSITTER WHEN ALL THE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS ARE BUSY WITH PRODUCTION??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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2:47 PM
(responds via text)

 Um, does this mean no babies? Even if they’re nursing?

 Could I bring Akiva? He’s turning 14 in 2 months.

 Heads up that I’m bringing Suri. She could really use the boost. And she’s so tall, she could pass for 16. 

 Oh, just realized Akiva can’t come.. I’m going to use his seat for Shifra. And she’ll hold the baby.

 Oops! No one left at home to babysit. Guess I’ll just bring Moshe and Leah along and they’ll stay in the playroom. Can you check if the DVD player is still working?
 

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2:48 PM

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You may remember a couple of summers ago, when Klal Yisroel united in such a majestic fashion.

We heard about Eliana, a girl not yet 2 years old. She needed a life-saving shot that would cost approximately 2.2 million dollars, and the shot had to be given to her before her 2nd birthday. It seemed like the only chance to save her life.

I remember the Thursday afternoon when my wife walked into my office to tell me there was a campaign that was started to raise the money.

Generally, I try to be very upbeat and optimistic.

But, I remember on this occasion turning to my wife and saying, "It doesn't seem possible! How, in just 3 short days, can Klal Yisroel raise 2.2 million dollars? What's going to be with Eliana? "

I didn't realize at the time, but one of our sons - an 8 year old, was standing in the corner of the office, and he heard what I said. And he started to cry ran out of the room.

I turned to my wife and I said, "Perhaps I spoke negatively, and perhaps I expressed that maybe, Eliana won't live - maybe that's what frightened our 8 year old.

A moment later, he came back into the office. Tears were in his eyes, and from behind his back he took out two $20 bills - $40.

And he turned to me and he said, "Here's $40 that I got for presents recently. Take the it and  go save Eliana's life."

And that's when I realized, yes! Klal Yisroel shows up.

We are all brothers.

Approximately 20 thousand people united amongst Klal Yisroel to raise the money. The money was raised even before the deadline, and they had to stop accepting contributions.

That's the power of our feelings of being brothers.
That's the power of uniting.

Yes, we have different divisions. We have differences in Klal Yisroel.

It's well known, somebody once asked the Chofetz Chaim, "Why are there so many types of Jews? There are Chassidim, there are Misnagdim, Ashkenazim, Sefardim... Why?

And of course you know, the Chofetz Chaim, zy"a, answered, "You may as well ask why does the Czar need so many different divisions in his military?

He has the army,
He has the Navy,
He has the Cavalry,
He has the Infantry.

Why all the different divisions?

He needs the different forces to properly wage war, because he is fighting his nation's enemies. And although each one has a different task, it's precisely because they have a different task but are fighting for the same cause -

that's why each one is so critical and so necessary!"

How we have to remember these words of the Chofetz Chaim, zy"a, to unite, to show up with our brotherly feelings at all times.

Yes, sometimes there are differences.
However, we have to remember, we're all on the same side.
We all have the same mission.

Everyone has to realize that we can live together in shalom and serve the Ribono Shel Olam as one man with one heart.

We should indeed be zoche to remember that although there are differences, everyone is such an integral chelek of the brotherhood of Klal Yisroel.

And may we continue to unite la'asos retzon avinu she'bashamayim.